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Hi reader!
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Welcome to the June newsletter!
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A quick note - your email provider may inadvertently filter emails like this to spam or other folders. If you add betsy@betsydeville.com to your Contacts, and mark this email as Important, it will keep it from floating off into cyberspace!
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Reimagining Fairness: What We Can Learn from Sports, Safety, and Progress
June is Pride Month, and it's got me thinking about how we create spaces where everyone belongs.
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The Power of Reimagining
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I recently read Jane McGonigal's Imaginable, where she challenges us to flip negative scenarios and reimagine them as something positive. Her key insight? We need to open our minds to what could be possible without being burdened by what is true today.
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That reimagining has been on my mind, especially when it comes to how we think about fairness, competition, and inclusion.
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What History Teaches Us About Progress
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Consider the marathon. The ancient Greeks gave us athletic competition, but when the modern Boston Marathon started in 1897, women were banned. Not just discouraged—banned.
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Why? Because being athletic was considered "counter to being female." Officials believed women were physiologically incapable of running long distances safely.
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In 1967, Kathrine Switzer registered using just her initials. Mid-race, an official tried to physically remove her from the course. She finished anyway—4 hours, 20 minutes. The response? Women were banned from all races with men.
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We didn't have a women's Olympic marathon until 1984. Ski jumping was banned for women until 2014. The reasoning was always the same: protecting women from harm, maintaining fairness, preserving the integrity of competition.
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Safety First: How We Actually Make Things Fair
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When I managed a wrestling team, fairness meant weight classes. But the original system was dangerous—kids were literally starving themselves, dehydrating dangerously, even dying to make weight.
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So we changed the rules. We allowed gradual weight changes during season. We required minimum body fat percentages. We tested hydration levels. We mandated that any weight loss follow certified plans at safe rates.
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The sport got safer and more fair.
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Today, we use sophisticated tools like DXA scans—the same technology that checks bone density in older adults—to measure everything from muscle mass distribution to power-to-weight ratios. We also have InBody machines that are widely available and can provide detailed body composition analysis in minutes. These machines can tell us muscle mass, bone density, and body fat percentage with remarkable accuracy. If we simply want to know whether a competition between two bodies would be fair, and therefore more safe, we have the technology to measure it objectively rather than guess.
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We've revolutionized helmets, changed rules to prevent spinal injuries, and created systems that actually protect athletes while maintaining competitive integrity many times. This is just another opportunity.
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The Real Question We're Not Asking
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Here's what strikes me: we've reimagined sports before when safety and fairness demanded it. We've done it for women. We've done it for different weight classes. We've done it for Paralympic athletes. We've done it for growing teenagers whose bodies change mid-season.
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Each time, the initial resistance sounded the same: "This will ruin the sport." "It's not fair to [existing group]." "We're protecting [someone] from harm."
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Each time, we found solutions that made things better for everyone.
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And let's be honest about another advantage we rarely discuss: redshirting., (also called reclassing.) Affluent white families increasingly hold their boys back, sometimes as early as kindergarten for a year, giving them extra physical development time. By high school, these "redshirted" boys can be nearly a full year older than their classmates—a significant advantage in athletic competition and college recruiting. We accept this practice that systematically benefits one demographic, but somehow other conversations about fairness become controversial.
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Beyond Sports: Rethinking Everyday Spaces
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Take public bathrooms. They're universally awful—gaps in doors, missing locks, zero privacy. Using a public bathroom can feel incredibly vulnerable. You're in this space where you need to be partially undressed, in an undignified position, unable to move quickly if you need to. Anyone standing in that bathroom can look through the crack and see you at your most exposed—your body, your facial expressions, whatever you're doing in there.
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Feeling vulnerable in the bathroom is another opportunity that can be flipped. What would a bathroom look like if you don't feel vulnerable? If you feel safe?
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My favorite bathrooms are the ones that are basically a small room. They have a roof, a door, and no space between the bottom of the bathroom and the floor. They have a lock that can't be easily tampered with from the outside and they have good ventilation. I can't hear anything that's happening in the toilet that's next to me. It feels private. I am entirely alone and whoever is in the bathroom next to me is irrelevant.
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When I'm done, I come out to a sink and I wash my hands. I get on with my day. No one heard anything, no one saw anything. My time was private.
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The Moment We're In
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We're living through a time when transgender people are finally coming out of hiding, and it's creating vulnerability for everyone. Some people in power are exploiting our uncertainty and fear, pushing uninformed legislation that helps no one.
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But here's what I learned from reading Janet Mock's Redefining Realness: when we listen to people's actual experiences instead of our fears about them, compassion follows. And compassion leads to better solutions.
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A Call to Action: Change the Conversation
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The secular community has always been good at following evidence over emotion, at choosing progress over tradition when progress serves everyone better.
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Right now, we have a choice: We can get caught up in the manufactured division, or we can do what we do best—look at the evidence, listen to the affected communities, and work toward solutions that make things better for everyone.
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Here's how you can help change the conversation:
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- Lead with curiosity, not fear. When you hear claims about fairness or safety, ask for specific evidence and specific solutions.
- Share stories of progress. Remind people that we've solved "impossible" problems before by focusing on outcomes, not fears.
- Support evidence-based approaches. Whether it's sports participation or bathroom design, the best solutions come from studying what actually works.
- Forward this newsletter. If this resonated with you, share it with someone who might benefit from a different perspective.
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The future is imaginable. But only if we're willing to imagine it together.
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What resonated most with you from this piece? Hit reply and let me know—I read every response.
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And if you found this valuable, forward it to someone who might appreciate a thoughtful take on these issues. Building understanding happens one conversation at a time.
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Fun set of eight different temporary tattoos featuring quotes from our secular and skeptic community:
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- we have it in our power to begin the world over again - Thomas Paine
- Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the ability to make you commit atrocities -Voltaire
- no gods no masters
- The halls of science are open to all, her truths are disputed by none. -Francis the Red Harlot of Fidelity
- imagine no religion
- to argue with one who has renounced the use of reason is like giving medicine to the dead - Thomas Paine
- wisdom begins in wonder
- A wise person proportions their belief to the evidence -David Hume
$5.00
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Did you know the Pledge of Allegiance that was first adopted by Congress did not include, “under God”? It was only in response to years of tremendous lobbying by Christian groups, fear of communism, and Eisenhower’s deeply Christian upbringing that it was added at all. Even the author, an ordained Baptist minister, didn’t see the need. In 1892, Francis Bellamy wrote the first pledge: I pledge allegiance to my flag and the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
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In 1923 and 1924, the National Flag Conference changed “my flag,” to “the flag of the United States of America.” This was intended to add clarity and be more inclusive for immigrants. This was the pledge that was adopted by Congress in 1942. It was only in 1954, after a tremendous lobbying effort by religious organizations, that Congress caved to the pressure and added, “under God.” In today’s America, this addition excludes many Americans including Hindus, Buddhists and secular folks. Sometimes, the good old days really are better. The original pledge is a better representation of my patriotism. We shouldn’t need to publicly profess believe in a certain god to love our country. Fourth of July, Flag Day, Nine Eleven 9/11, Veteran’s Day, Memorial Day, every day. Show your patriotism!
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$30.00
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Finding solace after loss can be agonizing for nonbelievers, and the grief resources out there don't resonate with you as an atheist. You need real, practical help grounded in evidence, not empty fantasies.
Maybe you lost someone you love, or you’re struggling with a major life change. If platitudes and rhetoric ring hollow, this warm, evidence-based guide is for you.
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$15.00
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