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July 2026: What Do You Call Yourself?

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At a recent meeting of my local secular group there was a conversation about people who identify as and use the word atheist. One attendee shared that they had been asked, “are you an asshole atheist or a nice one?”

I’ve been in a lot of conversations like this with people trying to understand what words I use across secular labels. People have offered me unsolicited advice to use agnostic instead of atheist, because it seems more approachable. The words we choose say a lot, both in our own worldview as well as how we are seen by the world. It is something that makes me curious: why are some secular identity words unpalatable for people, and what happens when we use them to identify ourselves in order to be seen clearly by the world around us?

The word atheist seems to strike a chord in people. A Gallup poll in 2020 found a candidate identified as an atheist was less likely to get elected than nearly any other candidate with “diverse characteristics,” including gay, Black, Jewish, or socialist candidates. Across parties, 41% of Republicans, 68% of Independents, and 69% of Democrats said they’d vote for an atheist. Compare that to a gay candidate: 62% of Republicans, 82% of Independents, and 89% of Democrats said yes. Even against a socialist, atheists didn’t always come out ahead: only 17% of Republicans said they’d vote for a socialist (worse than the 41% for an atheist), but 76% of Democrats would (better than the 69% for an atheist).

While the last blasphemy-related conviction in the United States was almost 100 years ago, the Cold War era defined atheists as godless communists. Heck, we added “under God” to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954 as part of the anti-communist fervor!

And it seems that secular folks still feel that othering, even as our population grows.

In January 2024, Pew Research shared survey results that found for the first time ever, people who did not identify as having a religious affiliation were the majority at 28%, ahead of Catholics (23%) and Evangelical Protestants (24%). Within that 28% who said they had no religion, 20% said they were agnostic and 17% said they were atheist.

When asking populations with diverse characteristics about their lived experience, we find that perceived hostility is highest for people who identify as Muslim. The second highest level of perceived hostility is for people who are Jewish or atheist. Within that, we find higher perceived hostility for women and parents who are secular.

My lived experience as a woman and a parent tracks with what research also finds with women and parents who are atheists. Parents and women report more perceived hostility and stigma. I was surprised when a leader of my international, publicly traded workplace wore a prominent cross necklace while presenting to a large audience. What message did she intend as she addressed employees and shareholders from all over the globe?

When I was parenting young children, I was not open in our community because we were concerned our children would be shunned by our mostly evangelical community.

But we can also take note of what works for religious folks, namely that being together with people like you helps. Research also tells us that participating in secular groups and organizations supports people to be out about their lack of belief and feel more at peace about it. They report perceiving less hostility.

I have talked about the importance of secular community in the past and will continue to encourage you to reach out to your local secular groups to connect. Not only will it help you feel less alone, it also makes it easier to stay in tune with the secular movement.

Find Your People

If you’re not sure where to start, each of these organizations can help you find a regional or local group near you:


On a lighter note: thinking about labels isn’t just personal for me, it’s also practical, as a small business owner. In my own shop’s search data, “atheist” is the top keyword for most items. Humanist is the second. So next time you see that word tagged on a product here, know it’s not just SEO, it’s the same conversation this whole newsletter is about.


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